casino, dickhead drivers, and shopping

The boy had his first weekend night off in AGES. We were going to just stay at home and spend some time together watching movies and playing monopoly. But friends of ours called up and asked if we wanted to go to the casino with them at midnight when it opened. I have never actually stepped foot into the casino, and we had some extra money left this week so The boy decided it would be fun for a while.

I am 26 this year and never once stepped foot into the casino. sad really lol. I honestly don't find gambling all that interesting, my opinion is that chances of winning are fairly slim, i might as well chuck my money in the bin. but i figured i would go along, it gets me out of the house and could be fun. and i really wanted to see the inside of the casino. (by the way half of it was closed off anyway so it wasn't all that great)

We got to the casino and looked around, watched people playing black jack, The boy was slugged 9 bucks for a small glass of JD and coke, which i tasted and either my taste buds are fucked up or there was something not right with the drink. it tasted disgusting, and i usually like JD. anyway, spent a couple of hours at the casino, at about 2am we were ready to leave

We were all starving by this time and drove to maccas. acted like a bunch of teenagers in there (sad when the boy is 30 and the rest of us are aged between 25-26)

driving home on the main road, we're all sitting in the car talking and laughing and just pretty much enjoying the company and the time spent together when the driver looks in the mirror and crouches down a little in his seat screaming like a girl ( as scary as this was i find it hilarious now) My friend (his wife) and i were yelling at him trying to ask him what the fuck was wrong when The boy turns around in his seat and his face went white.......seconds later two cars which were drag racing are right behind us, one overtook us on the left REALLY close doing about 150, the second car came up on our right (totally illegal for starters) but there was no road there so the fucktard pretty much pushed us over into the lane of the other car. thank god the driver crouched down and didn't decide to start swerving to avoid either car or i probably wouldn't be here to type this up.

we ended up losing control and drove into a ditch., car was fine no one was hurt but it was fucking scary.

got home at about 4am, woke up at 11 to go shopping as we really needed food in this house. basically all we had in the cupboards was flour and sugar, and a shit load of coke in the fridge.

Got to the shopping centre and it was REALLY crowded. the shops are only going to be shut for two fucking days, but people were buying stuff like the world was about to end. people standing in the middle of aisles, people getting in other peoples way, pushing, swearing etc etc. i usually am a pretty calm shopper but after standing behind some stupid bitch lady blocking the middle of the aisle while she was talking on her phone and talking to her friend, and having people backed up behind us so we couldn't turn around, and after me repeatedly saying excuse me, i said loudly for fuck sake lady move, and shoved her trolley out my way, got a dirty look from her and a round of applause from everyone standing behind me.

so i have decided i am never fucking shopping the day before public holidays again

feeling rather blah

Watching centre stage on TV, the acting is fucking terrible how this movie became so big is beyond me.

The boy is at work again, so i went out for dinner with my mum and step dad. was pretty good, although i wish The Boy was there. barely seen him in over a week because of work, and when he is home, he's asleep getting ready for the next shift. God i hate night shift with a passion. anyway, the food was good, the conversation......meh typical nagging mother style lol. but it was good to catch up with them it's been a little while since i really spent any more then 10 minutes with them.

Lately i have been having some bizarre dreams, mostly about me either being pregnant, or having a new born baby. though the freakiest was last night. My cousin killed himself in November. we were extremely close growing up but from about the age of 18 we barely saw each other due to our lives going in completely seperate directions. anyway, last night i had a dream and he was in it. He apologised for us barely being in contact before he died, and told me that no matter what i was still his favourite cousin (same age grew up practically living in each other pockets) and that he was sorry for causing me so much heartache over his death, that he was happy and he loved me. then proceeded to tell me i would have a boy.

i woke up feeling completely at peace about his death, knowing that he felt it was the only option for him and feeling like he was finally happy with himself and his surroundings. i still miss him like crazy.

but now I'm totally confused, was it a dream? Or was it him really coming to me through my dream? and wtf is up with the whole "you will have a boy" thing?

i think maybe it is my subconscious playing a joke on me because of the whole late period thing, but at the same time i want to think its true because at least now i know he is at peace.

The part that is freaking me out the most though, is that i tend to have a lot of my dreams come true, Don't get me wrong i don't think i am psychic or whatever, although i think i believe in that stuff, it's just a bit strange that things i dream about come true.

i have so much house work to do, and i have no motivation what so ever to do it. i started to rearrange my entire house, got halfway through it and gave up, so our matress is on the loungeroom floor, half our bedroom suite is in the hallway, clothes are strewn from one end of the house to the other. (i decided to move our bedroom into the front room) and there is paper work all over the table and on the floor too. Why is it that i get a burst of energy, get halfway though something, take a break and never want to finish it? maybe i should learn not to stop halfway though, that way it will all be done, and i wont feel like a lazy cow sitting in a mess.

Isn't summer supposed to be over?

fucking 43 degrees outside under my patio today, I love summer but come on this is fucking crazy.

The boy has been working extra hours this week, which means come thursday i have extra spending money. Although i barely see him as it is so with the extra hours he has been working it makes me wonder if the money is worth the time apart. Oh well, only a couple more months and he will be moved to armed guarding (ack! the boy with a gun is a fucking scary thought) and will be working only days, instead of only nights. Can't wait!

I have been so sick lately, if i am not sleepimg i am complaining i am tired. Every waking minute i am feeling like i am going to vomit everywhere, my stupid period is a week and a half late, now i am NEVER late. I h ave taken two pregnancy tests, and both were negative, so what the fuck is going on with my body?

It's been too hot to really do anything interesting, and even if it wasn't i'm too sick to bother going out. The boy dragged me to the shops yesterday and bought me the simpsons game for the playstation. (i barely play the damn playstation, so i think this is him trying to get me more involved in things he loves) and i must say, this game is addictive, and pissing me off all at the same time. stupid bart and lisa simpson lol.

going to be fucking hot again tomorrow, though i might drag my fat ass down to the beach (woohoo a bus, a train and a tram god i need to get my license) and go for a run.

Things about me.

Things about me

1. I am the moodiest person i know
2. I hate mornings. more so then most "normal" people
3. I hate the word normal. who the fuck determines what
is normal anyway?
4. I am an avid reader. if the book is interesting, i will read it
all in one sitting, stopping only to pee
5. I always steal those little alcohol swabs from hospitals.
i have no idea why i do it but whenever i am in a hospital i
just have to take a few.
6. I don't believe in love at first sight, i believe it is always only lust at first sight.
7. I am afraid of the dark
8. I have a fear of looking out of windows at night time
9. I hate being home alone all night. which happens a lot with my boyfriends work.
10. I know my boyfriend better then i know myself.
11. I suffer with post traumatic stress disorder. i try not to let it run my life, yet it still does.
12. I am scared of calling people on the phone that i don't know (how the hell did i last 3 years as a receptionist??!)
13. I was the one who set all the mice in high school biology free because i thought it was cruel to keep them caged up and study them. I let my cousin take the blame.
14. I had never suffered the grief of losing someone close to me until November last year.
15. I went o my first funeral last year and hope to never attend one again
16. I have a fear of dead things. be that fish, animal or human.
17. I have a fear of my boyfriend cheating on me, although i believe he wont i have been hurt in the past so i am over protective when it comes to him.
18. I have a deep set hatred for my body, yet am not motivated enough to do anything about it.
19. Gyms freak me out, i believe if i stepped foot in one i would be like an elephant walking into a room full of gorgeous skinny people.
20. I am an expert when it comes to cooking, but usually only cook quick easy things.
21. I was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years. we lived together. i still believe if i was to see her to this day i would beg her to take me back. although i love my boy to bits.
22. I fear i am infertile, yet have no real reason why i should think i am.
23. All i want in this world is to be a mother, a wife and to look after my family.
24. I love to people watch. i love to sit in the middle of Rundle Mall in the city and watch people, i like to make up stories about them.
25. I am extremely loud! i like to be the centre of attention.
26. My favourite colour is Pink. it's almost an obsession
27. I cry at anything, including maccas commercials.
28. I can not drink a cup of tea made by any one else. No one else makes it exactly how i like it. except for my cousin Jen. she makes it perfectly, and is the only person i will allow to make me tea.
29. I hate hot coffee, yet love iced coffee.
30. As a teenager, i hated carrots so much that i pretended i was allergic to them so i wouldn't have to eat them if i was at someone Else's house.
31. I suffer from a slight case of OCD. i have to do everything in 4's.
32. I HATE odd numbers. my boy thinks it is hilarious to put the TV volume up to an odd number then pin me down so i can't make it even. it pisses me off.
33. I have never had an orgasm. I fake it all the time, my boyfriend didn't believe me when i told him in the middle of an argument. i continue to fake it because i don't want to hurt him.
34. I only like granny smith apples, i hate any other type
35. When eating something like a sandwich or a biscuit etc, i eat it evenly into a square shape, nibbling it as i go.
36. I have run out of things to say at the moment but due to my crazy fear/hatred of Odd numbers i couldn't end this on one.